


His Decay

by pangmida



Series: His Love [3]
Category: Yandere Simulator (Video Game)
Genre: Bad Spelling & Grammar, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hanahaki Disease, I'm Bad At Tagging, One Shot, One-Sided Attraction, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-12 00:29:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19937047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pangmida/pseuds/pangmida
Summary: "Masuta-senpai, have you ever been in love?""...probably.""Did it hurt?""It did.""Did it feel good?""It did."





	His Decay

**Author's Note:**

> pretty long one-shot about the fictional hanahaki disease. inspired by the artwork of NvgOtoha on Tumblr and deviantART.
> 
> check her out:
> 
> https://www.deviantart.com/nvgotoha/gallery/  
> https://nvgotoha.tumblr.com/

_Petal by petal, the flower fell apart and decayed until it was no more._

**.**

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**::::::::::::**

**.:** _**H I S** **D E C A Y** _ **:.**

**::::::::::::**

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**.**

The mythical cherry blossom tree stood on the small hill behind the school, tall and pride, yet emitting a sense of unspoken loneliness.

A delicate petal landed on a page of the isolated boy's book. He finally looked up from the dull, black-and-white pages and observed the beauty around him. He reached out and opened up his fingers, allowing a falling, pink flower to land on the center of his palm. Then, bringing the flower close to his nose, he smelled the sweet fragrance. 

Spring is here.

.

.

.

The first time Budo felt that something was wrong with Ayano was during a training session in the martial arts club one afternoon.

She was up in a sparring match against Mina Rai, the best student in the club, or at least before she joined. Three minutes into the match, Mina struck a roundhouse kick towards her, and she blocked it by crossing her arms in front of her chest. The impact sent Ayano skidding back a couple of feet and ended up tripping and falling on her bottom.

Budo made a step towards her, wanting to run to her, but quickly stopped himself when he saw her picking herself up.

Mina lunged herself at the girl on the ground, who quickly rolled to the side, letting her miss. Ayano immediately stood back up and grabbed one of Mina's arms. Without letting her have the time to struggle, Ayano placed Mina's arm over her shoulder, lifting Mina off the ground, and flipped Mina over her shoulder.

With a loud thud, Mina fell to the ground in pain. Before she could react, Ayano suddenly grabbed her side and flipped her so that she lay on her stomach, then she felt her arms being held up in an uncomfortable position.

"Three! Two! One!" Budo called out, "The winner is Aishi!"

Ayano finally let go of Mina and dropped to the ground beside the brown-haired girl, panting and sweating heavily. Sho quickly ran to Mina and helped her sit up, followed by Juku and Shima.

"Well done, Aishi," Budo smiled, "That was a beautiful shoulder flip."

Ayano smiled brightly back, "Masuta-senpai taught well."

Shima pursed her lips at this scene and patted Mina on the back, "Rai-senpai, are you okay?"

Mina nodded and wiped her forehead, "Yeah, I'm fine. Good job, Ayano."

"You, too, Rai-san."

Sho laughed, "I'm impressed. Mina has been the best fighter in the club for the entire two years she's joined. This was Ayano's first year, and you're already beating Mina."

Juku nodded, "Ayano-senpai has talent!"

"She probably just got lucky..." Shima muttered to herself with an unconvinced expression.

Budo silently looked at Ayano as she chatted happily with the other club members while in deep thoughts. Just now, in that match, he felt her concentration weaken in the middle. She was totally capable of dodging Mina's kick, yet she seemed like she ran out of time to move, so she had to take the hit instead.

Knowing her, someone respectful towards her opponents, she wouldn't have gone easy on Mina. What made her waver, then? Budo hoped he was just overthinking things.

The school bell rang, signaling the end of the afternoon stay. The members of the martial arts club changed back into their school uniforms, which stuck to their sweaty skin.

When everyone else left, it was just Budo and Ayano. When Budo walked out of the changing room, he was surprised to see Ayano waiting for him.

"Aishi?" he jokingly asked with a charming smirk, "Are you...waiting for me?"

To his surprise, Ayano responded with a bashful smile, "Yes... Is that okay?"

"...yeah! Sure, of course! Thanks!"

Budo felt his face warming up at her kind gesture.

The two walked out of the school gates side-by-side, their shadows elongated by the golden afternoon sunlight. It was quiet between them, but it was pleasant.

Cherry blossom petals dropped from the elegant, pink trees and danced in the breeze. Ayano noticed a petal gently falling and taking residence in Budo's messy, ebony hair.

"Masuta-senpai," she said, stopping in her steps, prompting Budo to stop, too. She took a step closer to him with her face leaning a little too close and slowly reached out a hand.

Face reddened, Budo stuttered, "A-Aishi...?" He leaned back slightly when he saw her face inching closer and closer, not wanting to cause any misunderstandings.

It felt like the whole world was silent and stopped spinning. Budo could hear his heart pounding fiercely against his chest, threatening to jump out any second.

Then Ayano leaned back and held a flower petal up, forming a cute, mischievous grin.

"There was a petal on your head, Masuta-senpai."

Budo's face reddened more from embarrassment. Steam could practically come out of his ears at this point.

"Oh...yeah, thanks, Aishi..."

Ayano giggled, "What did you think I was doing?"

Budo scratched the back of his neck sheepishly, "Uh...I thought...something else. You know, you could've just told me, and I could've gotten it myself."

"Yeah," Ayano said and blew the petal off her palm, "I know. But I didn't want to."

Just as his face was finally cooling down, Budo felt it burn up again. He didn't expect this roller coaster of emotions to happen on a walk home with the quietest student in the club. What was she thinking? Is she just teasing him? Does she think this is fun? Or does she actually...

"Let's go, Masuta-senpai," her voice dragged him out of his thoughts. She was already a few steps ahead of him, waiting for him to catch up.

"O-oh! Sorry!" Budo apologized and caught up to her quickly.

They soon parted ways at a crossroad. Before leaving, Ayano suddenly wrapped her arms around Budo, startling him slightly.

"See you tomorrow, Masuta-senpai."

"A-ah..." Budo's brain lagged. He awkwardly patted her on the back until she let go, "S-see you tomorrow..."

With that, Ayano ran off, leaving Budo flustered and confused.

Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong.

.

.

.

Budo noticed that lately, Ayano has been daydreaming a lot, often blankly staring off into the distance with her cheeks tinted pink. During training, he would see her looking at the window behind her while kneeling on the ground next to the changing room rather than focusing on the sparring like she was supposed to.

Deciding to tease her a little, Budo crossed his arms and pretended to look angry, "Aishi, unless you thought of a way to fly, your eyes should be here."

Budo's remark caught Juku's attention, distracting him from his sparring with Shima, giving her the chance to kick him on the side of his head, knocking him onto the ground.

Shima smiled widely and wiped her sweat, "Your eyes should be here, too, Juku-kun!" She glanced at Budo with pink cheeks, anticipating for his compliment. Her smile faded when she saw him looking at Ayano instead of her.

"Masuta-senpai..." she said weakly, "...the match ended."

Budo snapped his attention back, "Huh? Oh! Sorry, Shita." He cleared his throat and loudly announced, "The winner is Shita!"

The observing members, Sho and Mina, clapped for Shima, finally pulling Ayano out of her daydream. She blinked when she saw Juku lying on the ground and started clapping, too.

When the cheering stopped, Budo cleared his throat and asked, "Aishi, what is it you're looking at that's more important than martial arts?"

Ayano stiffened, "Um, er..."

Everyone looked at her as she tried to find her words.

Budo smirked, "Well? Wanna share with us?"

Unexpectedly, she covered her mouth with one hand and shyly looked at him, batting her eyelashes, resembling a girl confessing to her crush.

"J-jeez..." she said bashfully, "Even after yesterday, Masuta-senpai still likes to bully me..."

 _'Woosh!'_ Budo's face immediately flushed red.

Silence.

"Senpai, what did you do to her yesterday?!" Sho freaked out with red cheeks, "You monster!"

Juku sat up and ran to Ayano's side, then glared at Budo accusingly, "If you made her cry, I won't go easy on you!"

Mina nodded with furrowed eyebrows, "Aishi-san has always been a good student of yours. Whatever she did, you shouldn't be bullying her for it."

Budo's faced glowed red as sweat rolled down his forehead, "I-I didn't do anything! I was only asking-"

Shima looked at him disappointingly, "Masuta-senpai, I can't believe you..."

"SHITA!"

The rest of the time before the end of afternoon school involved accusations being thrown at Budo and three of the members defending the "poor" Ayano. Budo had never been so relieved to hear the bell ring to dismiss clubs.

"Ayano, if Budo-senpai made you cry again, don't be scared to come to me!" Sho said before leaving the room.

"I already said I didn't do anything!" Budo desperately cried out.

He sighed exhaustedly after everyone finally left, except for Ayano. She looked at him, smiling innocently, waiting for him to finish changing. Budo's eye twitched at this eccentric girl and went inside the changing room to put on his school uniform.

He came out with his black jacket hung over his shoulder and saw Ayano still standing there patiently.

"You're still waiting for me?" he asked as he grabbed his school bag.

Ayano nodded.

Budo shrugged and headed out with her. Today's event made him too tired for anything else, and Budo Masuta never gets tired.

As they walked out of the school gate, they saw a plain boy with short, black hair and a cute girl long, orange hair tied in pigtails in front of them.

Budo called out and waved, "Yo, Yamada!"

He didn't notice Ayano's shoulders stiffen next to him.

The two in the front looked back to see who it was. The boy, Taro Yamada, returned a sweet smile and waved back.

"Hi, Masuta-kun. How are you doing?"

"We just finished training in the martial arts club...cough cough, maybe you should join like I've been _asking_." He turned to the girl next to him, "Hey, Najimi."

Osana Najimi greeted back, "Hi, Masuta-senpai, Ayano."

Ayano responded with a smile and a nod.

Taro chuckled, "Sorry, Masuta-kun. I don't really want to join any clubs. They're just not for me, you know?"

Budo scoffed, "Yeah, yeah, whatever. You can be alone and read your boring book while we are active and learn awesome fighting techniques."

Taro laughed, "I like reading. Books let me live in a completely new world where everything is just...different. In there, no one will judge me, no one can bother me. I can be alone and-"

"Taro, stop rambling! We have to go now, it's getting late!" Osana cut him off.

"O-oh, sorry..." Taro awkwardly cleared his throat, "Then...I'll see you tomorrow, Masuta-kun, and..."

For some reason, his voice softened a little, and he avoided looking at Ayano straight in the eye.

"...Aishi-san."

Ayano widened her eyes, "E-eh? Oh, yes...s-see you tomorrow."

The conversation ended with Osana practically dragging her childhood friend away, leaving Ayano and Budo behind.

Budo sneaked a peek at Ayano and noticed how empty her eyes seemed. It reminded him of the first time he saw her.

That was last year when he was a junior, and she was a freshman. She was not eye-catching in any way, with average looks and average grades. But that spring, he saw her on the rooftop, leaning against the railing, staring in the direction of the mythical cherry blossom tree behind the school.

Her eyes had no spirit in them. It was like she completely shut herself off from the rest of the world. He wondered, is that an expression that a year one student should be showing?

And he saw that expression again, right now.

"You guys are neighbors, right?" Budo spoke up, trying to get her attention.

Ayano tilted her head slightly, confused by his assumption.

"Well, yesterday, I saw you walking in the direction of their neighborhood," he explained, "It's a small neighborhood, so I guessed you live close to them."

Something in Ayano's eyes flashed by, but it was quickly covered. She laughed and nodded.

"Yeah... I'm from the same neighborhood..."

They continued to walk towards their homes, neither speaking a word. Soon enough, they arrived at the busiest streets of the town. The red light was on before they could cross the zebra crossing.

However, Ayano seemed like she wasn't aware as she stepped onto the road when the other cars were about to drive forward.

Budo's eyes widened, "Aishi, watch out!"

He quickly grabbed her shoulder and pulled her back, just before a car could hit her. A sigh of relief escaped him when she was unhurt.

"Aishi, be more careful!" he scolded, "You nearly got ran over!"

Ayano held her chest and coughed with a fist covering her mouth. Budo's angry expression melted into a concerned one.

"Are you okay?" he asked, patting her back.

Ayano breathed deeply and nodded, "Sorry... I got distracted."

Budo furrowed his eyebrows. Distracted again? He didn't remember her having such a weak focus, especially in the situation just now. Maybe school work just got to her, or at least he hoped.

Ayano smiled, "Thank you, Masuta-senpai."

He didn't say anything else and just crossed the street with her after the light turned green again.

Ahead of them was the crossroad, where they will split ways. Budo felt a little disappointed to see the trip home to be so short. Before he was about to say goodbye, the junior girl spoke first.

"Hey, Masuta-senpai..." she said.

Budo turned to her, "Yeah?"

Hesitating a little, she continued, "Do you think...the myth about that cherry tree...is real?"

Budo was taken aback by this question. "The myth? Where...if you confessed to someone under that tree on a Friday, you'll be guaranteed to get together?"

She nodded shyly.

Pink slowly appeared on his cheeks. Before, if anyone asked him that question, he would've thought it was ridiculous. But now, he doesn't even know what he felt anymore.

Especially after meeting...that person.

"Well..." he began, "Isn't it a little bit ridiculous? How will a tree make someone fall in love with you? It's probably just a good place to confess to someone. I wouldn't believe it if I were you."

"You really think that?" Ayano asked back, "There's no chance that it's real?"

"I mean, I wouldn't say that..." Budo scratched his head.

Somehow, he felt like he was in her shoes before. Last year, he probably hoped that the myth was true, too. At least...that myth helped motivate him to train harder in martial arts. He wanted to impress that person.

He did, but that person left him in the end.

"Maybe...maybe it can be true," he said.

He didn't want her to lose hope as he did.

Ayano fell into silence. A bike passed by them with its bell ringing, telling them to step aside. This time, Ayano saw it and dragged Budo towards her, out of the biker's path.

Budo felt himself being embraced by this girl again and stiffened. She was soft, and her hair smelled nice, better than Uekiya Engeika's garden. His face warmed up again, and he silently cursed at himself for having no resistance.

Ayano let go of him and smiled, "There, we're now equal."

She then turned around and left. Budo watched her back and slowly came back to reality.

Something was definitely wrong.

.

.

.

The weekend arrived quickly. Budo woke up early in the morning for his daily jog around the small town. Along the way, many girls and even older women were infatuated by his built structure and handsome face. He simply ignored or sometimes smiled politely at them if they were calling out to him.

He eventually reached an aisle with many convenience stores and small shops on both sides. Not many people are around, yet, since it was still very early. The sky was still periwinkle.

A sweet and warm odor caught his attention. He turned his head towards the direction of the scent and saw a bakery with pastel colors and a cute dollhouse aesthetic.

"I wonder if she likes sweets..." he muttered to himself. After hesitating for a bit longer, he finally decided to walk in the bakery.

The wind chime tingled cheerfully when Budo opened the door. Inside, he saw a display of colorful cakes and smaller desserts. A familiar girl standing behind the display saw him and smiled sweetly.

"Welcome, Masuta-senpai!" she greeted.

"Morning, Odayaka," Budo replied. He approached the display and scanned the pastries.

The sweet scent of cakes was suddenly interrupted by a strong artificial smell of perfume, followed by a high-pitched voice.

"Hey, Budo-kun~"

The voice caused goosebumps to rise on Budo's arms. He looked to the side and saw a Ganguro girl standing next to him, puckering her lips and winking at him.

"Whatcha doin'?" she asked.

"Hey, Daidaiyama, I'm buying desserts...since...you know, this is a bakery," Budo replied.

Hana Daidaiyama giggled loudly and seized the chance to quickly touch his muscular arm, "You're so funny!"

Behind her, a couple more Ganguro girls came up to them, all giving Budo flirty looks. He saw in the corner of his eye that one of them even took a picture of him with her phone.

Budo had never felt more uncomfortable in his life.

He is generally a polite and positive person, never ill of anyone, no matter what his or her reputation is. However, he holds a strong dislike for delinquents and bullies, including the girls that are surrounding him right now.

A couple of months ago, a freshman by the name of Kokona Haruka was exposed by an anonymous account on the school website for engaging in compensated dating. These five Ganguro girls made her life hell by humiliating her, writing rude messages on her desk, and even physically harming her until she fell into a deep depression and left the school for a while.

Luckily, she was able to heal after coming back and even started a relationship with Riku Soma, one of the richest boys in school. Seems like good people get good karma after all.

"I didn't know you eat sweets, Budo-kun!" Musume Ronshaku, the leader of the bullies, exclaimed.

Budo chuckled awkwardly, trying to keep his composure, "I don't. This is for someone else."

"See? I TOLD you, Hana-chan!" Kashiko Murasaki said, "Budo-kun wouldn't eat junk like this. Do you know how many calories this stuff has?"

"Ooh, no wonder he has SUCH a nice body!" Kokoro giggled.

Hoshiko pouted, "Wait, someone else? Who are you getting it for? A girlfriend?"

"What?!" Hana snapped, "A girlfriend?! Budo-kun, is this true?!"

"It better not be!" Musume leaned close to him and placed a hand on his chest, "You're not allowed to date anyone, okay?"

Budo immediately stepped back from the uncalled skinship and cleared his throat in a fist, "Uh...no, not girlfriend. Just a friend. A-anyways, Odayaka, I'd like this slice of matcha-flavored cake, thanks."

Amai nodded awkwardly and packed a green slice of cake in a pretty little box, "Y-your total is three hundred yen..."

"A friend? Is she a girl?" Hoshiko asked, "Budo-kun!"

Though Budo never cared much about honorifics, he wished the underclassmen girls would stop calling him by his first name and refer to him as their senior. Thankfully, Amai was able to finish packing the cake up quickly. Without lingering any longer, he took the box, threw the money on the counter, and walked out of the bakery as fast as he could.

The Ganguro girls whined and called his name as he left without looking back.

Amai gulped at this commotion as she slowly picked up the money. It's too early for this mess.

Right as he stepped out, Budo saw a red bicycle ride stop by. His moody face lit up when he saw Ayano get off the bike.

"Aishi? Didn't expect to see you here."

Ayano locked her bike and saw the cake box in Budo's hand.

"What'd you get, Masuta-senpai?" she pointed at the box and asked.

"Oh, uh..." he rubbed his nose, wondering why he's being shy, "Some cake."

"Odayaka-san's cakes are great," Ayano acknowledged, "What flavor did you get?"

"It's matcha-flavored."

"Ah...matcha-flavored..." Ayano muttered, "His favorite..."

Budo didn't hear that; instead, he asked, "Where were you heading, Aishi?"

Ayano pointed to the grocery store on the opposite side.

"Want me to accompany you?" he asked with a smirk.

"It's fine, Masuta-senpai," Ayano placed her hand on her chest, "I'm just getting some food with a lighter taste. I think I'm a little sick."

A concerned look grew on Budo's face, "Sick? Are you okay? Do you...do you want me to...maybe...take care of you?" When he said that, his cheeks reddened as his eyes darted from side to side bashfully.

Ayano chuckled and shook her head, "It's just a cold, Masuta-senpai. No need to be worried."

"Oh..." Budo felt disappointed, "Then...take care!"

"I will," she smiled warmly, making Budo's heart skip a beat.

She turned and walked to the grocery store. Budo saw her cough and wanted to help her, but she already entered the clinic. Sighing, he began heading back, only to realize he's still holding the box of cake.

"Shoot... I forgot to give it to her," he groaned silently. Somehow, his brain just doesn't properly when he's with her.

Just as he was about to leave, Budo noticed something strange on the ground. He approached it and bent down to inspect it.

"A black flower petal?"

.

.

.

Taro Yamada looked worn out. His usual polite smile was gone, and he sighed deeply every couple of minutes.

Budo raised an eyebrow while watching his friend slowly take out his shoes like a zombie. When the other students left home, Budo patted him on the back, and he robotically turned to face him. 

"Hey, Yamada. What's gotten into you?"

Taro forced a smile, "Oh...it's...nothing."

Budo crossed his arms, not taking that as an answer. They stood in silence staring at each other unbudgingly for a moment before Taro finally caved in.

Sighing again, Taro ruffled his dark hair and said, "...just now, Osana confessed to me."

Budo widened his eyes. Oh, right...today is Friday. She must've asked him to go to the cherry tree behind the school. It was pretty obvious to everyone but this dense boy that the orange-haired girl liked him, and Budo was wondering when she'll finally confess. From the looks of it, the myth probably didn't work out her way.

"Really? Then...how'd it go?" Budo asked, despite knowing the answer.

Taro pursed his lips, guilt swarming in his body, "I said no."

"You don't like her back?"

"..." Taro lowered his eyes to the ground, "I just feel like...she's changed a lot. For the worse. I don't think it will work out."

"Changed for the worse? How so? She didn't seem to act any different?"

"I thought so, too, but...this week, she... We just seemed to clash a lot."

"You guys fought?"

"No, but...she ruined a book that was very important to me, she ghosted me when I agreed to go to the movies with her, and...and she even made me listen to some...horrible things she said about me..."

Not wanting to create a worse image of his childhood friend, Taro did not mention the vulgar pictures he found on her phone or the lunch she offered him that made him feel sick for the rest of the day.

Budo was shocked by all of the things he said. He knew Osana fairly well as he is close with Taro, but he did not expect her to toy with Taro like this. One moment, she was kind and stayed by his side, despite not wanting to admit it, then the next moment, she abused Taro's trust and continued to beg for forgiveness.

Taro slouched to the ground and ran his fingers through his hair, his head lowered, "I don't know what I did to make her hate me like this... Did I- did I overreact?"

Not knowing what to say, Budo slouched next to him and patted him on his back.

Though he doesn't look like it, Taro was probably the strongest person Budo knew. He didn't need to fit in with other people to feel happy, and he always treated people with kindness.

They stayed beside each other for a little longer, no one saying a word. Budo wanted to say sorry to that girl for not being able to walk home together with her today and hoped that she will stay safe alone.

.

.

.

Budo noticed Ayano's fighting skills regressing for some reason. Even when sparring against Juku Ren, the weakest member in the club, she struggled, and her reactions were often delayed.

After school, Budo waited for Ayano to finish changing. They have been walking together for a couple of weeks now, but it felt like an eternity to Budo. Especially with the ongoing eerie atmosphere going on in school, he didn't feel safe for this girl to walk home alone.

Osana Najimi disappeared after being rejected by Taro. She was later found dead from suffocation, but she was not assaulted by anyone. She was found lying lifeless in her room with flowers surrounding her body.

Amai Odayaka died from food poisoning. Her family's bakery shut down not long after.

Kizana Sunobu, the drama club president, committed suicide when vulgar pictures of her were leaked online. She left a note, saying it was the last thing she could do as a dignified lady, which is to preserve her pride.

Oka Ruto, the occult club president, was sent to a mental institution for suddenly having a breakdown, screaming how the demons have risen and will eventually erase everyone.

Just last week, Asu Rito, the sports club president, was said to be paralyzed from brutal beatings. The perpetrators were not found. The athlete now lives in the hospital as a vegetable, her future career in the sports field forever ruined.

Shivers ran down Budo's spine when he remembered the grotesque image of Asu's unconscious body. Her flesh was cut open, and bones were visible. He remembered feeling ill for the rest of the day, and Ayano helped comfort him. That girl was braver than he thought, completely unfazed by the bloody mess.

As Budo and Ayano strolled around the sidewalk, the afternoon sun illuminated the sky with golden. Cherry trees stood tall along the sides, watching over them as they cross the streets.

After a while of quietness, Ayano spoke up, "Masuta-senpai, have you ever been in love?"

Budo was taken aback by the question, "Huh?"

Ayano repeated, "Have you...ever been in love?"

Such a simple question, yet it sparked pain in Budo's heart. In love? Yeah, perhaps he has been... A long time ago, he was filled with hope, motivated to come to school every day to participate in clubs...and to see _her._ That person was his role model. She was strong, practically invincible, and was rightfully proud. Her cute appearance concealed the beast inside her, working to her advantage.

He wanted her to approve of him, so he trained harder and harder until his skills eventually surpassed her. She finally looked at him and showed admiration in her eyes.

But she left.

She now wanders around the school without the club's headband or armband, and she befriended many more people, including the late Osana. It felt like their past together had been a dream.

And Budo took a long time to wake up.

He looked at the raven-haired girl with thoughtful eyes before replying, "I don't know."

She giggled, "What kind of answer is that?"

His gaze softened at her, a warm feeling in his stomach. "I... I just don't know." He paused, then added, "...probably."

Ayano asked again, "Did it hurt?"

"It did."

"Did it feel good?"

"It did."

They reached the crossroad again. Ayano turned to him, swinging her schoolbag to behind her back. She stared at his onyx eyes with her own, as if she was trying to search for something. Budo felt a little unease from her concentration.

"What, you like my face?" he teased.

She smiled, "Yeah, I do."

His face heated up. He could never win against this shameless girl.

"Um..." he coughed awkwardly to change the topic, "Why'd you ask that question, by the way?"

Ayano lowered her eyes, "Just curious."

"Why? Are you in love?"

Ayano turned away, her back facing towards him, "...yeah."

"..." Budo felt something twitch. The warm feeling from before disappeared, leaving him cold and lonely. A breeze blew by, bringing Ayano's ponytail to a small dance.

Passengers walked by, some giving them strange looks for standing in the middle of the crossroad. Pigeons landed on wires and roofs in crowds and straight lines, watching them from above.

She slowly turned her head around and glanced back at him, a painful smile on her face. Budo's eyes widened when he saw black flower petals in between her lips.

"You..." his mouth parted in shock.

The rose petals in the shade of the darkest night fell from her mouth as more came out. The breeze grew into a soft wind, blowing the petals away, some brushing against Budo's cheeks.

Hanahaki Disease. An illness born from unrequited love. The lovesickness develops into flowers that bloom inside the patient's lungs, slowly deteriorating the body. The illness that killed Osana Najimi.

"You...fool..." Budo's voice cracked, his vision becoming blurry, "You fell too hard...!"

His heart hurt like a towel being twisted. Something warm and wet fell from his eye and dripped down his cheek.

"I know..." Ayano lifted a hand and touched her chest, a few more black petals flew out of her mouth, "But it feels...so damn good..."

That night, Budo broke down. The stars outside his window gazed upon him in pity. How long has it been since he last shed tears? He never knew that he would stoop so low—crying over an idiot girl that is destroying herself for someone else.

She's a fool for falling too hard, but he's a bigger fool for following. It's a bottomless pit that he will never be able to climb out of.

_'Did it hurt?'_

Her question echoed in his ears.

_'Yeah, it sure as hell did.'_

An itch in his lungs forced a cough out of him. He coughed more until he felt something come out of his throat. He spat it out and tasted iron in his mouth. A white chrysanthemum dropped onto his floor.

.

.

.

She didn't come to school today.

Budo glanced at the empty seat in class 2-1, and his heart twitched. It was until the teacher looked at him when he realized he was standing in the hall for too long. He quickly headed upstairs to his classroom.

The day went by fast.

Her smile often popped up in his head out of nowhere, distracting him from learning. When engaging in conversations with a group of friends, he would see her face, and he would get lost in his thoughts.

Nothing seemed real. Budo questioned if he had been dreaming for a long time, and he didn't want to wake up. Her heart belonged to someone else, and not him. He didn't understand why she would lure him in her trap, why she wanted to get close to him, but he allowed himself to be enticed. In the end, it was his own fault for having his guard down.

"Masuta-senpai?" a voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

Budo blinked, coming back to reality. The martial arts club members looked at him in confusion. He realized he had been staring off into the distance for a while.

Shima waved her hand in front of his face, "Masuta-senpai?"

Budo laughed sheepishly, "Sorry, I was thinking of something."

Sho wiggled his eyebrows with a smirk, "Something...or someone?"

Juku covered his mouth and chuckled, "Probably missing Ayano-senpai."

"You two..." Mina sighed helplessly.

Shima glared at the two boys and said, "Masuta-senpai is probably tired, stop making fun of him."

"Oh, is Shima-chan jealous?"

"I'm not!" her face flushed red.

Budo excused himself to the restroom. He stared at his reflection and saw how tired he looked. His bushy hair was messier than usual, and there were visible red lines in his eyes.

A painful feeling swarmed in his chest, and he coughed out a few more white petals. Is this what Ayano felt like all this time? Bearing such an uncomfortable feeling and pretending as nothing happened? He felt pain in his chest again, but this time it came from his heart.

"That boy sure is lucky..." he muttered to himself, "To be loved by someone like her..."

He ran his fingers through his hair and pushed by his bangs.

Budo had thought about going through surgery to remove the lovesickness inside him, but when every time he stepped out of the house, he went back in. It was painful, like thousands of needles sticking to his lungs, but he couldn't bring himself to get rid of them.

Perhaps...he just enjoyed challenges too much. A part of him wanted to endure the disease to prove that he can bear any pain to be worthy of Ayano's love.

This is stupid, he thought. Love is such a torture, whether it was before or now.

.

.

.

"You know..." Budo said one day, "You don't have to destroy yourself like this..."

Ayano lifted her head and gazed at the golden clouds that flowed past the sun.

"I know...but I'm willing to."

Budo gritted his teeth, "Why? Even if it means dying?"

"Yes, even if it means dying."

"Why?! What's so good about him?!"

"...you wouldn't understand."

Budo balled his hands into tight fists as he tried to control his anger.

"Who is this person that's making you act so...so stupidly?"

Ayano smiled and her face grew pink, "...Yamada-senpai." His name sounded like a dream to her ears.

Budo stiffened for a moment, then laughed, not sure if at her or himself.

"How have I not noticed before?" he scoffed, "I'm such an idiot." He sighed and rubbed his nose. His chest was hurting again, but he ignored it.

Ayano, on the other hand, covered her mouth and coughed. Black rose petals appeared on her palm. Budo furrowed his eyebrows and patted her back.

"It hurts, doesn't it?" he asked, but it was more of a rhetorical question.

She nodded anyway.

"Why not get rid of it?"

"I can't... My feelings will disappear, too."

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"No... I can't lose these feelings. They're the only things keeping me...alive."

Budo raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean?"

Ayano laid her head in her arms on the railing. The spirit in her eyes disappeared, reminding Budo of the first time he met her again. That moment, she looked so fragile. He wanted to gently cup her in his hands and protect her.

"He taught me how to be...me," she said quietly, "He was the one that...lit up my world. I felt like I was breathing for the first time. I don't want to lose this feeling. I don't want to...die again."

Budo felt as if there was a wall between them. He wanted to reach her, to embrace her, to understand her, to connect with her. But she barred herself from the rest of the world. Who is he kidding? He would never understand her. She's too different from him.

He just wanted her to love herself more. If she couldn't, then he'll do that for her.

"Then...why not just confess to him?" he asked, "The illness can be cured if he reciprocates your feelings, you know?"

She shook her head, "I can't... Too much competition."

"I'll help you," Budo said, "I'll praise you in front of him so he will notice you."

She didn't answer and gazed at the lonely cherry tree on the small hill below.

"If only..." she whispered, "If only you appeared sooner..." 

.

.

.

Ayano Aishi had never been a good person.

When the first flower bloomed inside her, she was absolutely ecstatic. It meant that she was in love. It meant that she had feelings, that she was _alive._ The pain in her chest melted into pleasure. Each time the thorns pricked her lungs, she thought of the face of her beloved.

Taro Yamada, a boy plainer than a blank piece of paper.

His dreamy eyes reflected the world around him, his beautiful, dark hair danced in the wind, and his smile...his gorgeous smile...it made Ayano's heart skip a beat every time.

She met him on a quiet day in spring. Fate brought them into a collapse when she was walking in the halls. He reached out to her, and she took his hand. And just like that, he pulled her out of the dark abyss that she lived in for the past seventeen years.

But sadly, fate likes to play tricks on her. The more she wanted to approach him, the more challenges were presented to her. Week by week, a new pest appears and tries to steal him away. It was as if the whole world wanted to prevent her from earning her happiness.

So, she took an alternative route. Every day, she followed his path, learning as much as she could about him. He didn't like interacting with many people, but he had a decent amount of friends. That's when she decided to approach Budo Masuta, so she can become close to her love.

She began acting friendlier, showing him a sickly sweet façade that pulled him closer to him. He took the bait. He showed her useful fighting techniques that allowed her to eliminate her enemies easily. It was fun to see them squealing in her grip.

The feeling of accomplishment...it was addicting. Those girls cried delicious tears.

Fate is such a complicated game.

As time passed, Budo Masuta became more and more difficult for her to control. Her plan was originally to use him as her weapon so she could dirty her own hands less. But every time she wanted to act upon it, a slight twinge of guilt stopped her. He seemed too clean, too pure, and for some reason, she didn't want to taint him dirty.

It was becoming more and more inconvenient.

If only, in an alternative world, she could allow him to approach her... Maybe she didn't have to struggle so much anymore. Sadly, there are no "if's".

Ayano sighed as she looked at her corkboard that was plastered by pictures of different girls. She then used a red marker and crossed out the face of a well-endowed woman with heavy makeup and wearing a revealing office suit.

Mida Rana, the substitute teacher in Taro's class. It was easy to get rid of someone who constantly flirts with younger boys, especially her students. Especially Taro Yamada.

Ayano was tired. She just wanted to feel loved by her Taro.

She saw a picture of the martial arts club president in the corner of the board. He had a wide smile that stretched across his boyish face, contrasting with Taro's more shy smile.

Ayano had never made mistakes, but perhaps choosing Budo Masuta as her target was the first and biggest mistake she could make. He was too positive, and she burned every time she touched him.

She was well aware of his feelings for her, but she only felt pity. She pitied that he willingly allowed her to toy with his emotions without a complaint.

A sudden ache in her chest caused her to cough violently. She hacked and wheezed, then spat out a blood and flower petals. It was getting harder and harder to breathe. She's running out of time.

It was a cold night, but it was warm in Ayano's heart.

.

.

.

Budo's right eyelid had been twitching lately, alerting him that something bad might happen soon.

He rubbed his eye as he took out his shoes from his locker. In the corner of his eye, he noticed Taro standing still while holding a piece of paper in his hand. 

"Whatchu got there, Yamada?" he asked.

Taro flipped the paper around to see if there was anything else, "Um...a note. It's asking me to meet them under the cherry tree."

Another confession. Budo wondered if Ayano finally made a move. He forced a smile and wrapped an arm around Taro's shoulders.

"Wow, quite the Casanova, aren't ya?" he laughed, ignoring the bitterness in his heart, "What are you waiting for? Go meet them!"

Taro stayed quiet for a little, then lowered the hand that held the note, "I...I don't know if I want to..."

This surprised Budo. Knowing his friend, he was always polite to everyone and would rarely say no to any request. Especially if it was a girl hoping to express her feelings to him.

Budo furrowed his eyebrows. He didn't want to do this, but the image of Ayano's face appeared in his head again. Her soulless eyes and her lonely back view left a bitter taste in his mouth. He wanted to see her smile. He wanted her to feel alive.

"What do you mean?" he said, "It's rude to leave a girl hanging."

Taro sighed, "But...I'll just hurt her if I go, just like...just like Osana..." His voice wavered at the mention of his childhood friend.

Budo's heartbeat raced as he clenched his fists, "You don't know that. Maybe, maybe you'll like her! You have to give it a chance, you know? You can't just let her wait for you all alone, it takes a lot of courage to spill your feelings out to someone!"

Taro looked at him, surprised by how emotional he was, "...Masuta-kun?"

Budo widened his eyes when he realized he lost his composure. He cleared his throat and shoved his hand into his pocket. "I'm...I'm just saying, the least you can do is respect her feelings...and listen to what she has to say. You never know how much someone needs that..."

Hesitating for a bit longer, Taro finally nodded his head, "You're right. Then...I'll go."

Budo smiled, showing his teeth, "That's what I'm talking about. Go get her, sport!" He patted him on the back and watched him run outside. After he was gone from sight, Budo felt his chest and let out a cough that he had been suppressing. A couple more flower petals fell out of his mouth.

"Please...be happy..." he mumbled and pressed down his bangs, covering his eyes.

.

.

.

The news of Osoro Shidesu's death spread around the school.

The police said that her corpse was found behind the school, bloodied up from deep knife wounds in her heart. Some say that she was killed by a nemesis from a different school that she probably upset in the past, others say that she committed suicide after being rejected by someone she liked.

That latter rumor took a heavy toll on Taro. He came to school the next week with dark circles around his lifeless eyes. His skin was paler than usual, and his hair was messier than ever.

Budo pitied him badly. He couldn't imagine what it's like to be responsible for someone's suicide, even if it was just a rumor. Budo never had a good opinion on the head of the delinquents, but he knew that she would be too prideful to let a small crush affect her heavily. He refused to believe that she killed herself after being rejected.

He felt disgusted by himself when a small part of him was happy that Ayano wasn't the one that gave Taro the note.

This week was also the week Taro's younger sister, Hanako, transfers to Akademi. Budo didn't know why she would want to come to this school after all the tragedies that happened in the past, but he heard that she studied very hard so that she can be with her older brother.

At least the delinquents won't trouble for her... Budo tried to think positively.

Hanako was a very sweet and cheerful young girl. Her black hair was tied up in cute ponytails, and a heart-shaped hairpin attached to her bangs to match with her childish appearance.

"She's really clingy," Budo said and stuffed an eggroll in his mouth.

Sho sighed admiringly, "Man, I want a little sister, too. That way, she can look up to me, and I can train her in martial arts."

Mina commented, "Say that when you beat me in a match first."

"HEY! I'm only LETTING you win because you're a girl! Plus, it's not my fault that you've been learning since you were five, and I just started in middle school!"

"Biologically, you're supposed to be stronger than me, but here we are."

"Biology doesn't apply when you didn't live a normal life in the first place!"

"Aishi-san didn't start training until this year, and you still couldn't beat her."

"I- you-..." Sho didn't say anything else and just continued eating his lunch.

Ayano watched them argue and replayed Budo's words in her head.

Shima narrowed her eyes, jealousy showing itself in her amber irises. She humphed and closed her unfinished bento. Without saying a word, she stood up and left the rooftop.

Juku watched his classmate leave and muttered, "Shima-chan needs to stop being so jealous."

Ayano glanced at him.

"She's always beating herself down... I wish she can be more confident."

Ayano looked at the door from which Shima exited the roof. She always knew that the first-year has been envious of her. Being as sharp and observant as her, she could tell that Shima Shita liked the oblivious club leader. He was her main motivation for coming to the club every day to train as hard as she could, and his compliments made it all worth it.

However, a month later, Ayano joined, too, and, with zero experience, she quickly surpassed everyone in the blink of an eye. Like her, Ayano was motivated by a person to train hard, but Shima's pathetic crush could never compare to her devotion.

Her fast improvements earned the respect of Budo, and Shima felt herself becoming more and more invisible to him. It wasn't fair. Why does she get to have his attention every time? Even though she joined much later than her...

Juku sighed, "In no way to offend you, Ayano-senpai, but...Shima-chan just feels insecure around you."

Ayano made a guilty expression, "Oh? I...never knew that. She really shouldn't. Shita-san is very talented."

"Yeah, but...if it was just about talents, she wouldn't mind it that much. But...it's mainly about..." Juku's eyes darted to their club president, who was chatting with the two second-year brunettes, "...it's mainly about Masuta-senpai."

Ayano laughed, "Does she think I like him?"

Juku blushed a little and scratched his head, "Well...she thinks you're pretty close."

Ayano took a bite of her rice ball. If Shima Shita really thinks it's that big of a deal, she can just try to matchmake her and Budo. But trying to pair him up with someone else while knowing that he likes her...is just too cruel.

 _'When have I become so soft?'_ she smiled mockingly at herself.

.

.

.

Ayano watched Hanako Yamada annoyingly run to Taro right after the school bell rang. She threw her arms around him and snuggled in his chest, and he sighed and patted her head lovingly. It made Ayano's blood boil.

That spoiled brat doesn't deserve his affection. 

The siblings headed to the direction of the library, and Ayano followed. Ever since Osana died, Taro wanted to distract himself by staying after school in the library to study. He didn't want to walk home alone without his loudmouth childhood friend pestering him along the way.

Humans don't learn to cherish things until they realize they've lost it.

She entered the library and saw Hanako sitting at a table doing her homework while Taro roamed around the bookshelves to find something to read. Using this chance, Ayano quickly approached Hanako and tapped on her shoulder.

"Hey!" she greeted with a smile, "You're...Yamada-san, right?"

Hanako nodded, "Yup! What's the matter?"

Ayano pointed towards the exit, "Someone wants to see you."

Hanako cocked her head, "Me? Who wants to see me?"

Ayano's eyes spun around and came up with an idea, "Masuta-senpai. From class 3-2."

"Eh?" Hanako's cheeks tinted pink, "M-Masuta-senpai?"

Ayano grinned and nodded. After observing her for the past few days, she could tell that this girl developed an admiration for the popular and handsome upperclassman. She would beam every time he came up to chat with her brother, and sometimes she would see her taking a peek in the clubroom while they were training.

"Why is he asking for me but not my brother?" Hanako asked, a little bit excited and flustered.

Ayano shrugged, "I don't know. He just asked me to come to get you."

The blushes on Hanako's cheeks deepened. She glanced at her brother then back at the girl in front of her, hesitating if she should go.

"Okay, lead the way, please!" Hanako chirped.

Ayano smirked and lured her out of the library. Just when they stepped out, Taro finished finding a book and came back to their desk, only to find the seat empty. He looked around the room, then finally at the doorway and saw a black ponytail for an instant moment.

"...Hanako?"

Outside, Hanako shielded her eyes from the afternoon sun. It was awfully red today, and the whole sky was in the shade of deep crimson. She happily skipped behind Ayano, nervous to know what Budo wanted to see her for.

When they arrived at the back of the building, Ayano suddenly stopped walking. Hanako blinked and looked around, seeing no one else there.

"Eh? Where's Masuta-senpai?" she asked innocently. She wandered around while scratching her head in confusion, trying to find the senior.

Ayano slowly pulled out an object that reflected the bright sunlight and silently approached Hanako while her back was facing her.

"Strange...he was here a second ago..." Ayano said in a low voice, her bangs covering her eyes, "Could it be that...he left?"

Hanako's hands drooped to her sides, and she pouted. She searched around the empty field one last time before finally giving up.

"Well...I guess I'm going back... Big Brother's gonna be worried," she said with a disappointed tone and turned around. Her eyes widened in horror when she saw Ayano raising both of her hands while holding a knife with the blade pointing downwards. A sinister grin stretched on Ayano's face, and her eyes reflected bloodthirstiness.

"No problem. I'll take care of him for you," she said, and she slashed down.

"Ah...ah..." Hanako choked out before she shut her eyes and screamed at the top of her lungs. "AHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Then, deafening silence.

A few seconds passed, and Hanako didn't feel any pain at all. She slowly and carefully opened her eyes, and her mouth parted open from shock.

Budo Masuta's tall and broad back was in front of him, the tails of his hairband flowing with the wind.

Ayano lifted her head to meet his eyes. She glared at him menacingly as she tried to pull her wrists out of his tight grip.

Budo held onto them stiffly, their hands shaking from the struggle. He gritted his teeth when he looked at this unfamiliar girl in front of him. Her eyes were that of a monster's. He saw a crave for bloodshed in them, and no matter how desperately he tried to think otherwise, he could only see a murderer staring back.

"I hoped to god every day that it wasn't you... Aishi, I'm so disappointed in you..."

"Heh..." Ayano scoffed coldly, unfazed by his words, "It's your own fault for believing in me."

Budo's face scrunched up, his heart aching terribly, "Why? Why would you do this?"

"Why?" Ayano repeated. She pulled as hard as she could and finally escaped his grip. She jumped back a few feet to keep a distance between them, and she stood up straight to look at him.

"Masuta-senpai..." she wiped her mouth with her wrist of the knife-gripping hand, "stop asking these useless questions. You will never understand how I feel." She pointed at him with the tip of her knife, "Step away, and I will perhaps spare your life."

Budo breathed shakily and swallowed a flower petal that nearly came out. His eyes warmed up, followed by two lines of tears scrolling down his cheeks. He balled his hands into trembling fists, trying to control his anger.

"You foolish girl..." he choked, "For him, you're destroying other people and your own lives..."

She lifted her head and burst into laughter. She laughed harder and harder until her stomach hurt.

"Budo Masuta," she called him by his full name, dropping any façade that she worked hard to put on for her entire life, "Do you have any idea what it's like to live without feeling anything? Do you have ANY idea how suffocating it is to not be able to see any colors and enjoy life like a normal person? No. You wouldn't. You wouldn't because you're Budo Masuta, loved by everyone around you."

Budo stiffly shook his head in disbelief, more tears rolling down his face.

She continued, "I had nothing to look forward to except for the day I meet the one that can fulfill me. I forced myself to act like everyone else so they will stop bothering me. I learned how to smile, to cry, anything that will make me seem normal. And I'm so...damn...tired... I wanted to quit, to give up, to die. But I didn't. Because I prayed for the day someone can change me."

She blushed like a schoolgirl as she cupped her cheeks, looking like she's daydreaming, thinking about the face of her beloved Taro Yamada, "And I finally found him... I saw colors for the first time. I felt something inside me burning passionately. I knew in my mind that he was the only way I can feel...alive..."

Suddenly, veins popped on her forehead, and her eyes became menacing like a beast. She pointed behind Budo at Hanako, who flinched, "But YOU! You, you and all those people try to take him away from me. You're all trying to take my only source of happiness away. I won't let that happen, even if it means resorting to killing. You all deserve to die if you try to take Taro away from me. I'll kill every last one of you if I have to."

Budo shook his head more, "For your own happiness, you chose to end other people's lives... Ayano Aishi, you're nothing but a murderer, a MONSTER!"

"If being a monster is what it takes to have Taro to myself, SO BE IT! I want...no, NEED him. I can't live without him. I don't want to go back to a monotone world where all I feel is emptiness..." Ayano hugged herself, "It's cold in there...and lonely... I don't want to live through that again..."

Hanako's legs trembled at the sight. This psychopath was the one behind all of the girls' deaths that people have been talking about. She wanted to run away and find Taro, but her feet were glued to the ground, preventing her from moving.

A smile crept on Ayano's face again. She opened her mouth to let a couple of black rose petals fall into her hands and blushed. "Do you see this? This is proof that I'm alive... This is the love that my body is creating for my dear Yamada-senpai... I feel it filling up my lungs, but I don't care. All that matters is I win Taro's heart over. I will kill more people if I need to. No one else matters except him."

She began walking towards them, her head twitching like a maniac. Budo gulped and put an arm in front of Hanako to guard her.

"He. Will. Be. Mine."

Then she charged at Hanako, who shrieked in terror. Budo grabbed her wrists to restrain her, but she pulled out. Ayano lunged himself at him, and they fell to the ground, struggling. She sat on top of him, both of her hands holding onto the knife and trying to push it down into Budo's eye. Budo grabbed onto her wrists and pushed upwards with the blade only a few centimeters away from him.

Hanako robotically turned around and took this chance to run back inside the building. Ayano saw her trying to run away, distracting her from Budo, who immediately pushed her down and switched positions, now her being on the bottom and him on the top.

"Masuta, you goddamn pest!" Ayano screamed and slipped out from underneath him. She quickly crawled away from him and stood up. "What do you think you're doing?! Get out of my way!!"

Budo jumped up and ran to her. He threw a punch at her stomach, making her bend over, and kicked her hand, causing the knife to fly out and stick in the grass. She may be strong, but everything she learned was taught by him. There was no way she can beat him.

He grabbed her collar and slammed her into the wall, then tugged upwards, "What about me?! You purposefully tried to get close to me, and you showed me so much affection, walking home with me, showering me with flatters, what was that all for?!"

She panted and grinned widely, "What was that for? Why... Obviously, it's because you're friends with my senpai!"

Budo gritted his teeth as more tears fell. He knew it. He knew that all along, she was never genuine with him. But he allowed himself to dream, and that was his mistake. It still hurt like hell to hear her say it. His chest was aching again, both in his heart and his lungs.

"You're so heartless...! You really don't care at all..."

Ayano shoved him away from her and grabbed her chest. She coughed and hacked loudly, and more black petals came out. Then she started hyperventilating, trying to catch any bit of oxygen she could. Her hand shot up to her chest and gripped tightly. It hurt so much. She couldn't breathe. But this obstacle in front of her needs to die...!

Budo took a step forward before stopping himself. He watched her struggle pathetically, dropping onto the ground like a twitching like a dying insect. He felt something come out of his own throat, and he swallowed back in. She's in pain, but when is he not?

Ayano grabbed onto the wall to help herself stand back up. All she could think of is to kill the boy in front of him and find Taro. She swiftly picked up her knife and dashed towards him despite her weakened state. Budo dodged her knife and caught her wrists again, to her extreme frustration.

"Why...? WHY CAN'T I KILL YOU?!" she cried, "Stop your futile struggle and DIE!!"

Her breath halted and her eyes widened in horror when she suddenly had a glimpse of what's behind Budo over his shoulder.

There he was, Taro Yamada, standing next to his scared sister, watching them fight with a frightened expression. Hanako hid behind her brother's back while gripping on his uniform tightly.

Budo noticed that Ayano suddenly stopped moving. He followed her line of vision and turned around, shocked to see Taro and Hanako. They stood still, not saying a word.

Taro broke the silence when he raised a shaky finger and pointed at the petrified Ayano, "You... It was...you..."

Ayano shook her head, "No...n-no...w-wait..."

Budo's eyes darted back-and-forth between Taro and Ayano. With Ayano's guard down, he struck the back of her neck with a heavy chop. Ayano's vision immediately faded to black, and her body lost support and fell into Budo's arms. Her knife slipped out of her hand and fell to the ground.

Budo dropped to his knees and breathed heavily, sweat dripping from his head. His heartbeat slowed down a little from relief.

"Sorry..." Budo said, "I didn't want you to see this..."

Taro's hand dropped back to his side. His eyes became hollow. "...what does it matter now..."

Osana's face flashed before his eyes. She was blushing, pretending to be angry at him, then she couldn't hold it anymore and laughed.

 _"Taro! You're late again! Jeez..."_ he heard her say.

He slumped against the wall and slowly slid to the ground. Hanako choked in tears and hugged him. Everything seemed like it was spinning. Taro felt as if the whole world tumbled.

Budo finally let loose and coughed heavily. White petals continued to come out of his mouth. Blood splattered in his palm and dripped from the corner of his mouth. He took a deep breath and patted his chest. The iron taste in his mouth was overwhelming. He hid the petals in the grass so that Taro would not see.

Taro chuckled humorlessly and ran both of his hands through his hair.

"Hah...What a joke..."

They stayed in silence except for Hanako's sniffling and muffled sobbing.

The scarlet sky seemed as if blood was seeping through, tainting the world below red.

.

.

.

Ayano opened her eyes and sat up, breathing heavily and sweating intensely. She looked around at her surroundings and saw white walls everywhere. The thick smell of medicine alerted her that she is in the hospital. Looking down, she noticed an infusion tube was attached to her hand.  
  
The door opened, startling her. A nurse walked in and was surprised to see her awake. She introduced herself and told her about how she was unconscious and that a boy brought her here.  
  
"...may I ask...who?" Ayano's voice was scratchy.  
  
"His name is Budo Masuta. He said he is your friend."  
  
"..." Ayano's eyes faded. It wasn't Taro. It wasn't the love of her life. Her eyes warmed up when she remembered the look of horror and disgust on his face when he saw her.  
  
It's over. She exposed herself. There was no way he could ever forgive her.  
  
"I'll go tell your friend that you are awake. You can wait here before we begin your surgery," the nurse informed before leaving.  
  
"Surgery...?" Ayano repeated, "W-wait...what surgery?"  
  
Her question was drowned by the door.  
  
A few moments later, the martial arts club leader came inside. He took off his black uniform coat, wearing his inner white shirt with sleeves rolled up, revealing his well-defined muscles.  
  
She stared at him for a while before coldly asking, "Why did you send me here?"  
  
Budo looked at her in the eyes, "You're sick."  
  
"Why didn't you turn me in? Or rather...why didn't you just kill me?"  
  
"I will never kill anyone."  
  
"Heh...right. You're the almighty hero of Akademi. I'm a murderer. We're two different people."  
  
Budo pursed his lips, "I won't turn you in. At least not yet. Your obsession with Yamada is destroying you."  
  
Ayano felt her back becoming cold. "What...what are you implying?"

Budo couldn't look at her eyes anymore. Not when they looked like those of a frightened deer surrounded by predators. He averted his eyes and glanced at the corner of the wall instead.

"...the doctors will help you get rid of your illness."

Ayano's irises shrunk. "No...no, you can't do that... No, please, please don't remove it, I beg you, please, no..."

Budo's heart pained from her helpless pleads. He knew how much the disease meant to her, but he couldn't watch her slowly decaying.

Tears flowed out of Ayano's eyes, "M-Masuta-senpai... I'm sorry... Please don't do this to me... I'll turn myself in, I'll willingly go to jail, I'll never come out to the world again, but please...don't let them remove my flowers...!"  
  
Her eyes widened when her lungs were pricked by thorns again. She coughed, each a needle to Budo's heart, and spat out blood and black flowers.  
  
Budo quickly ran to her and held her, "Aishi, Aishi, are you okay?!"  
  
With bloodied hands, Ayano grabbed onto his white shirt and pleaded with wet eyes, "Don't let them do surgery on me! I...I don't want to lose this... It's the only thing I have... I don't want to go back, I don't want to feel empty again!"  
  
Red stained Budo's shirt. He bit his bottom lip to suppress his emotions, but his eyes were already teary as well. Ayano coughed more, more blood splattering onto the white hospital bed. Budo panicked and tried to cover her mouth with a hand while soothing her back with the other.  
  
"Aishi, deep breaths, it'll be okay, you'll feel much better after this...!" he said with cracking voice.  
  
Ayano shook her head and pulled his shirt closer, "I can't breathe...! I can't- I-I... It hurts... Ah..." Her chest heaved up and down as she tried to catch her breath. The flowers inside her have practically filled up all of her lungs, suffocating her.  
  
Budo's heart twitched seeing her like this. He turned his head towards the door and yelled, "Doctor! DOCTOR!! Please help!!"  
  
Immediately, doctors and nurses arrived and told Budo to get out of the room. However, Ayano refused to let go of his shirt, begging him to stay.  
  
"Masuta-senpai...!" she could barely speak, "Help... D-don't... S-sur..gery..."  
  
The nurse from earlier yanked her hand away from his shirt and yelled at him to leave the room.

Budo took one last glance at Ayano and forced himself to turn around and run out.

When he got out, he slammed the door shut and leaned against it. From inside, he heard her ear-piercing screams, as if she was tearing her throat apart. Losing all strength, Budo slid down against the door and sat on the cold, hard floor.

He covered his mouth with one hand and breathed shakily, then he finally poured his emotions out. He cried, muffling his sounds, and let his tears soak his collar wet.

His own flowers came out of his throat and fell to the ground. It hurt. It hurt so bad. But nothing could compare to the pain in his heart.

_._

_._

_._

_"What?" Budo's brows furrowed in disbelief._

_Taro repeated himself, "My family works in the hospital nearby. Send her there to remove the disease through surgery."_

_Budo shook his head, "Yamada, that's even worse than killing her...! Do you know how much those flowers mean to her? They were created because she finally felt emotions...because of you!"_

_"And her emotions led to the death of so many innocent people, Masuta-kun!" Taro raised his voice, "No more...I can't let more people die because of me! It's terrifying, Masuta-kun...to have nightmares of the dead haunting you, telling you that you were the reason for their deaths..."_

_"..."_

_"I don't care anymore. I will never reciprocate the feelings of a murderer. If...if you still want her alive...let her go through surgery."_

_"..."_

_Taro smiled, but his eyes poured sorrow and regret, "...I really wish...I had noticed sooner..."_

_Budo widened his eyes and stared at him._

.

.

.

Endless hours passed and the sky darkened and eventually became an abyss. The doctors finally came out of the room.

Budo slowly looked up as they walked towards him. 

"The surgery was successful," the head surgeon stated, "But after removing the flowers of a patient with the Hanahaki Disease, they will no longer have those feelings anymore."

Budo nodded.

After they left, he went back into the room and saw Ayano lying on her bed without moving a muscle, but her eyes were opened. He clenched his fist when he saw those empty, hollow eyes again.

Hearing a visitor, Ayano turned her head and looked at the boy who pulled up a chair to the side of her bed and sat down. She blinked when he showed her an exhausted smile.

"Do you feel fine?" Budo asked.

Ayano nodded.

"That's great..." Budo saw a water cup and water kettle on the nightstand and poured some. "Do you feel any pain?"

She shook her head.

Budo felt relieved he helped her sit up by supporting her back with a hand and placing a pillow vertically. Then he blew on the slightly hot water gently until he felt it was cool enough. He brought the cup to her lips, and she took a small sip.

It was quiet, just them alone.

The difficulty to breathe and the pain in his lungs seemed to have evaporated after he saw her face.

"After this, we can go back to school, and I can teach you more fighting techniques just like before. It will be like nothing ever happened."

Ayano slowly nodded.

"Um..." she uttered.

Budo was glad to hear her voice again, despite it being scratchy after the surgery.

"What's up?" he asked in his cheeriest tone he could make.

Ayano blinked while looking at him with curiosity. Budo tilted his head, questioning her. After staring at him for a little more, she spoke again.

"...who are you?"

Budo's heart stopped, unsure if he heard her right.

"...w-what?"

"Who are you?" Ayano repeated.

Budo stiffened. Why is she asking this? Is she still mad at him? Perhaps so. She desperately asked him to save her, yet he didn't. His smile dropped a little at this thought.

Pushing away all negative thoughts, he chuckled, "I'm Budo, remember? Budo Masuta."

"...oh..." she nodded.

Budo reached for the kettle and poured out more water into the cup and blew on it. When he was about to bring it over, she asked again.

"Then...who am I?"

_'Splash!'_

Budo's hand lost its strength, and the cup filled with water slipped out and dropped to the ground, spilling everywhere. He snapped his head around and gawked at her with eyes as wide as saucers.

"...A-Aishi, don't scare me. I know you're mad, but...but one time is enough..."

Ayano tilted her head in confusion, "Aishi...? Is that my name...?"

Something inside Budo cracked. His breath hitched in his throat as he stood up numbly in disbelief. Short term memory loss? Is that it? Is that a side effect from a lot of anesthesia? It must be, right? Why else would she be asking those questions?

He quickly dashed outside and went to grab a doctor over.

"Sir, i-is memory loss an effect of removing the Hanahaki Disease? Or...or maybe too much anesthesia? Or anything...?"

The doctor raised an eyebrow, "Memory loss? I've never heard of that associated with the Hanahaki Disease."

"B-but...that doesn't make sense!" Budo panicked, "Why would my friend not remember who she is or who I am?"

"That's...never seen before," the older man furrowed his eyebrows, "Maybe she was just unconscious for too long. Give her a little more time to recover."

Budo tried to numb himself with those words when he returned to Ayano's room. She was staring blankly at the window, where it was pitch black outside. He took a deep breath and put on a smile.

"Aishi, do you really not remember anything?"

Ayano blinked and shook her head.

"Your parents' name? Address? School?"

She shook her head to all of those.

"Um...then..." Budo scratched his cheek, "What do you feel right now?"

"..." Ayano lowered her head, "...empty."

"..."

Ayano slowly hugged herself and brought her knees up to her chest, "It's cold...and lonely."

Budo suddenly couldn't hear anything else. His both lost all strength, and he dropped to his knees. The girl on the bed gazed at him with a questioning look.

This can't be real. This can't be real.

Budo's heart stopped beating and his eyes welled up in tears. They streamed down his face as he felt himself tumble in despair. He suddenly understood everything now.

The Hanahaki Disease can be removed with surgery, and the feelings will disappear along with the flowers.

But...in Ayano Aishi's case...her feelings for Taro were what gave her emotions. With them, she was finally "alive" for the first time. Her entire "life" started when she fell in love with Taro. Removing those flowers meant removing everything. Everything.

Including memory.

"I'm sorry..." Budo choked, "I'm so sorry..."

The thousands and thousands of words he wanted to say to her all melted into a single "I'm sorry."

.

.

.

Taro gazed out his window at the starless night.

It was beautiful in its own way. Elegant and mysterious like a black rose. 

He chuckled self-mockingly and slumped into his chair.

"What an idiot..." he mumbled and pressed down his bangs to cover his eyes.

An image of a girl standing below a pink cherry tree appeared. Her ebony hair was dark as the night, matching her onyx eyes. He remembered seeing her on the first day of April, and he was instantly mesmerized by her.

He wondered if he could ever tell her.

But now, it seems like he can't anymore.

There was a sudden itch in his chest, causing him to cough into his fist. Something came out of his throat, and he spat it out.

A couple of petals slowly landed on the floor.

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea since last year but I never knew how to execute it...
> 
> hope you enjoyed my bad grammar and sad attempt at being angsty as always


End file.
